I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Found your dick twin last night
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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