why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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