Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
