And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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