and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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