If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Drake has all the answers
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
