He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I've blown a few things in my day
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Enjoy the penises
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
