Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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