Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
