I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
