I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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