Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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