Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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