That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
