Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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