He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize