You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
