Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
