You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
