I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize