Me too!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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