There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
