It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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