just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
