Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
