I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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