you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
