can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
