Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
