I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
