I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
