Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
