Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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