Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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