And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
