So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
