She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
