why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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