Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
