I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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