sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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