she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
