A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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