Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
