His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and she was petting her beer can
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
