They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
