I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
