Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize