great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
