He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
