My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She said her name was "party"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
