then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
