i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
