Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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