Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
