man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
