i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
