I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
