my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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