i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
