is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
