Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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